guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
