i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
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