Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
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I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
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Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
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