problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
