I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
