It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
