there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
