Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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