That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
