brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize