I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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