He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
