No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
