How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize