are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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