no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize