Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
My dick has a subreddit
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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