You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
