My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
