Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize