I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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