Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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