Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
