The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
should my penis look like a turkey
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
