My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I love you. Go after that dick
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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