dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
