This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
