just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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