What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
