"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
