You work out of a Hotel?
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
