There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Randomize
