I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
we should paint friendship bongs
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