why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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