Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize