just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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