SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I intend to get homeless drunk
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
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