theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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