Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
did you just send me my own nude
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