I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
