Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
