she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
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