I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
FUCK WHALES
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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