I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I think your dad took our porno
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
