You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
