sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
