U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize