It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
