Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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