the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
