She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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