"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
