i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
she peed on how many people?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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