i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
