problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Oh god it's open bar.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
