i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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