it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
where does the pee come out of this thing
only you would photoshop your dick
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
