You really coming over, don't trick.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
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