can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize