Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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