Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize