Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
