i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
