He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
