There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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