Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I smell stomach acid.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
