Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
